Seeking an Answer

In reading one of my daily blogs (the only blog I read daily) there's been a lot of talk about Al-Anon and fixing ourselves, not the alcoholic in our lives. For a long time and probably still, I've been hoping someone would provide me "the answer" to fix my alcoholic husband. I think I'm coming to the realization that no one can give me "the answer" and honestly that really frustrates me. Isn't there some magic cure? Some perfect story? Something I can DO? I love him so much and I love our life together - I hate to see it/us in this state of chaos. I've sought out answers, I've gone to counseling, talked with family...no one has the answer. At least not the one I want to hear. It's not there. There isn't one. Dangit. So I feel helpless. Totally helpless and that is depressing. I am depressed. I see all the signs. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning...really I'd be very happy just to sleep all day. Oh, wait, I couldn't even do that if I wanted to because my husband is home and he won't let me sleep all day. That's even more depressing. Ok, so I'm depressed. What am I going to do about it? I do need to focus on me. I really don't like being depressed. I want to smile. I want to have fun. No one is going to help me but me. I'm babbling. Maybe I'm trying to talk myself into attending an Al-Anon meeting. Maybe I'm talking myself out of the "stuck" feeling. I do feel stuck. What am I to do?